Better Late Than Single.

Released on Netflix last month, the reality show drew much attention with the sympathy and support of viewers, showing the genuine challenges of "NLSBs(No Lover Since Birth)" who are desperate for a relationship. But it is not just about NLSBs. "Heart Signal," which deals with complicated emotions of lovers in their 20s and 30s, "Transit Love," in which ex-lovers strive to find a new relationship after breaking up, "My Sibling's Romance," in which siblings find a mate while helping each other out, and "Fortune Tellers' Love," which is about shamans' special relationships. Regardless of the genre, love programs are currently the centre of public attention since they first came out. Now, the interest in "love" in Korean society is higher than ever. With the size of the dating market growing day by day, what kind of repercussions will the dating shows have on our society.

Kang Da-hyun (Department of Sociology, Senior), a self-proclaimed "Love Reality Fan," pointed out ‘empathy’ as the reason for her seek after reality dating shows. Since it is not an adapted story like a drama or movie but a reality show that captures the emotions of ordinary people, it is attractive in that it conveys raw emotions and sincerity. In particular, in the case of a recent one, "Better Late Than Single," Kang explained that the clumsy and cautious expression of emotions shown by those who have no experience in dating came to her fresh. “I felt like I was experiencing the 'first time' for everyone again, and I was so immersed that I wanted to go in and give advice," Kang said. Another advantage of these shows is that they can watch it with friends and family around them, naturally recall their own love experiences, and share their opinions. Participatory viewing, which means to be deeply immersed in emotions, interpret, and consume together, is also a new feature of dating shows these days.

Today, called the N-Po Generation (a generation of people who have given up on many important values), love reality programs rather arouse greater empathy and joy. In a society where love is considered a kind of luxury, it enables "the outsourcing of emotions" where people experience relationships, break-ups, excitement, and pain indirectly and feel comfort and joy without the burden of time, emotion, and money for a real love. As such, dating shows that allow a public bond of empathy, joy of indirect experiences, and sharing of experiences among viewers are constantly gaining popularity among younger generations including university students.

Heo Soo-yeon, a professor at the Graduate School of Public Policy who teaches the ‘sociology of gender’ in the sociology major, also explained the popularity of the dating reality program as "proxy satisfaction." Professor Heo said, "There are psychological and economic barriers in actually establishing a relationship while wanting a relationship." Specifically, she analyzed that the typical psychological factors include fear of rejection, wounds of previous break-ups, fear of dating abuse, and the burden of personal feelings being consumed as gossip by the public. In addition, she mentioned, "The reality that dating itself is perceived as an economic expenditure is also affecting young people in avoiding dating," and explained, "Under these circumstances, dating programs seem to gain popularity as they function as a window to experience only the emotional aspects of real love relatively safely and indirectly."

Then, is the relationship in a dating show similar to the real-life relationship? Kang said, "The situations in dating shows and personal experiences cannot be exactly the same, but the emotions revealed in it are similar." Not everyone would worry about which of the three male cast members to choose as they do in the dating show "Single’s Inferno", but the embarrassment and feeling of sorry when you have to turn someone down are commonly experienced. She added, "Not all events in a dating show happen in reality, but people can sympathize with the feelings as they occur in various relationships and eventually come from a common feeling of love."

In addition, as dating shows are share similar emotiona aspects with real relationships, they provide viewers with the opportunities to understand and empathize with relationships. Kang said, "Through dating shows, we have come to experience the emotions and actions of others indirectly, and to more flexibly accept the conflict situation and flow of emotions we face in a relationship." She said, "We have come to recognize the importance of conversations and understandings rather than one-sided judgment in relationships, which has had a positive impact not only on dating lives but also on relationships as a whole."

However, Professor Heo points out that certain boundaries are needed for such media consumption. "Since a reality dating program is essentially a device for 'show', provocative composition and extreme situations are inevitably produced," she said. "As a result, viewers are at risk of mistaking it as a real love." In particular, she expressed deep concern about that even love could turn into an act to be conscious of the eyes of a third party in this Korean culture that is largely conscious of the eyes of others. This leads to a ‘love to be seen by someone’ rather than a relationship between individuals, which can eventually lead to fatigue in performing a relationship according to a standardized role. Professor He further added, "There is a possibility that relationships may be misunderstood as 'connections for others’ evaluation' rather than a process of emotional growth and self-understanding through dating."

The fact that dating reality shows are gaining popularity as a form of indirect experience, even as romantic relationships in real life are becoming increasingly difficult due to various pressures, reflects a somewhat bitter reality. However, it is important to note that these programs are more than just a means of 'proxy satisfaction'; they reflect today’s ‘dating market’ in our society and play a role in reshaping its culture.

Amid this trend, what is important is to enjoy dating programs without uncritically accepting the emotions and messages within them, and to independently develop one’s own views on relationships. To prevent the way others engage in relationships from automatically determining one’s own approach to relationships, it is necessary to consume content in a balanced way—maintaining a certain distance while paying attention to one’s own feelings and judgments.